I'm not conventional in my religion. I find organised religion to be a burden. I even remember being 18 and listening to other youths at church talk about the 'quality' of someone's preaching from the pulpit. It frustrated me but I guess I couldn't articulate why that was at that juncture in my life.
It seems like being a preacher is an identity. I recently read Todd McGowan's Embracing Alienation and it seemed to me (after reading it) that so much of modernity is driven by that identity. In a capitalist society the one thing we need is work to keep us afloat. But there is a perverse incentive within the structures of modernity that fuses identity to that. I'm wondering of this pastor friend of yours who sadly took his own life may have struggled with that. I know in my own spiritual life journey when I was suicidal, one of the things that bugged me was my lack of employment. Perhaps this is also more common for young males.
If Christianity taught me anything it's that within weakness there is a strength. A humility to humble oneself before that which they cannot comprehend. Maybe that is what true humility looks like ? And keeping that in mind is one way we can help each other, by moving aside our pride and understanding one another's burdens. Just like Jesus did - let him without sin cast the first stone..
Vulnerable pastors show their humanity, like Jesus did in his pain and sorrow witnessed by his friends. You become relatable as it should be. Thank you for your openness.
Thank you for this Pastor Scott. I am a recent seminary grad and am a few months shy of two years in full-time pastoral ministry and this encouraged me. I resonate with a lot of your reflection here, and have felt misunderstood and that no one else understands. I am trying to build friendships, and know how valuable it will be. Although it has been hard and I have never felt as alone as I do now. I resonate with the line: “He had plenty of adoring fans. But he had few, if any, actual friends.” I am encouraged, and agree with you, transparency and vulnerability is a better place to live than isolation and loneliness. I would love to read you reflect on a letter you would write to your younger self in ministry. Happy writing. And, thank you.
This was a great blog. I was so pleased to hear you talk about choosing to be more vulnerable with your congregation. It was what I was thinking was needed as I read the first part of your blog. And I was also wondering if there might be an issue with a pastor, in essence, needing to “train” his congregation in the rules of the relationship. Like a new boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have talked to many women friends that are unhappy with the state of their relationship, but further inquiry can often reveal that they set/allowed/tolerated these same behavior ground rules at the beginning. But now they realize they were unrealistic for the long term, but they find it hard to try to make changes after time has passed. It’s a tough spot to be in.
A friend asked my wife and me to give a year to help a smaller country church. When we brought up the nearing 1-year anniversary while at one of the many lunches we had with the pastor and his wife, the wife started weeping and said, "We were afraid you were going to bring that up."
We are now well past the second year and realize that our growing friendship with the pastor and his wife is one of our most important roles.
Is any among you afflicted? let him pray.... Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
I'm not conventional in my religion. I find organised religion to be a burden. I even remember being 18 and listening to other youths at church talk about the 'quality' of someone's preaching from the pulpit. It frustrated me but I guess I couldn't articulate why that was at that juncture in my life.
It seems like being a preacher is an identity. I recently read Todd McGowan's Embracing Alienation and it seemed to me (after reading it) that so much of modernity is driven by that identity. In a capitalist society the one thing we need is work to keep us afloat. But there is a perverse incentive within the structures of modernity that fuses identity to that. I'm wondering of this pastor friend of yours who sadly took his own life may have struggled with that. I know in my own spiritual life journey when I was suicidal, one of the things that bugged me was my lack of employment. Perhaps this is also more common for young males.
If Christianity taught me anything it's that within weakness there is a strength. A humility to humble oneself before that which they cannot comprehend. Maybe that is what true humility looks like ? And keeping that in mind is one way we can help each other, by moving aside our pride and understanding one another's burdens. Just like Jesus did - let him without sin cast the first stone..
Vulnerable pastors show their humanity, like Jesus did in his pain and sorrow witnessed by his friends. You become relatable as it should be. Thank you for your openness.
Thank you for this Pastor Scott. I am a recent seminary grad and am a few months shy of two years in full-time pastoral ministry and this encouraged me. I resonate with a lot of your reflection here, and have felt misunderstood and that no one else understands. I am trying to build friendships, and know how valuable it will be. Although it has been hard and I have never felt as alone as I do now. I resonate with the line: “He had plenty of adoring fans. But he had few, if any, actual friends.” I am encouraged, and agree with you, transparency and vulnerability is a better place to live than isolation and loneliness. I would love to read you reflect on a letter you would write to your younger self in ministry. Happy writing. And, thank you.
This was a great blog. I was so pleased to hear you talk about choosing to be more vulnerable with your congregation. It was what I was thinking was needed as I read the first part of your blog. And I was also wondering if there might be an issue with a pastor, in essence, needing to “train” his congregation in the rules of the relationship. Like a new boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have talked to many women friends that are unhappy with the state of their relationship, but further inquiry can often reveal that they set/allowed/tolerated these same behavior ground rules at the beginning. But now they realize they were unrealistic for the long term, but they find it hard to try to make changes after time has passed. It’s a tough spot to be in.
Thank you for your openness, honesty and insight, and for sharing it with us.
A friend asked my wife and me to give a year to help a smaller country church. When we brought up the nearing 1-year anniversary while at one of the many lunches we had with the pastor and his wife, the wife started weeping and said, "We were afraid you were going to bring that up."
We are now well past the second year and realize that our growing friendship with the pastor and his wife is one of our most important roles.
Seems you have found the solution Scott:
Is any among you afflicted? let him pray.... Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
(James 5:13-16)
Is this a typo? "The two hardest jobs in the word are..." in the world I think perhaps?
typo in the subbed (Drucker quotation)
I am very grateful for your ministry, Scott.
Thank you for your transparency.