Why Forgive?
The scandal of grace in a world of grievance and grudges
In an age of grievance and grudges, forgiveness often feels not only difficult but emotionally impossible.
Our world is quick to cancel and slow to pardon. When someone wrongs us, every instinct cries out for justice or revenge. And yet, we also know that carrying unresolved anger is its own kind of prison.
The question “Is forgiveness possible?” cuts to the heart of our pain. The gospel and the cross of Christ dares to answer yes. Forgiveness is possible - though not easy - and it is the way to freedom for both the wronged and the wrongdoer.
Forgiveness does not mean excusing evil or foregoing justice. But it does mean releasing hatred and the consuming impulse for retaliation.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, reflecting on post-apartheid South Africa, famously said:
“Without forgiveness, there is no future.”
Individuals as well as entire societies remain stuck in cycles of bitterness unless someone chooses to break the chain. Forgiveness, radical though it may be, is what breaks that chain.
The call to forgive has research on its side: psychologists agree that forgiveness is associated with lower anxiety and depression and greater well-being, while chronic bitterness literally makes us sick.
As Lewis Smedes famously said, to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Still, how do we forgive seemingly unforgivable things - as most of us witnessed recently when the young widow, Erika Kirk, offered public forgiveness to the young man who murdered her husband?
To even consider such a radical act, we need much more than a pep talk; we need a power beyond ourselves. This is where Jesus and the gospel of grace enters the picture. We forgive because we’ve been forgiven by God in Christ. The Bible implores us to “be kind to one another... forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
In other words, any mercy we extend to others is a drop from the ocean of mercy we’ve received. Jesus Himself, in agony on the cross, prayed even for His executioners: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). And Christ’s death extends far beyond those who crucified Him that day - centuries later, it also secures God’s forgiveness for us.
If God has forgiven us our immense moral debt, that reality empowers us to release others from the debts they owe us.
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One of the most moving and powerful examples of forgiveness comes from Corrie ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived the Ravensbrück concentration camp in World War II. After the war, Corrie traveled to various places speaking about God’s forgiveness. At one talk in 1947, she was approached by a man she recognized as a former Nazi guard from the camp, who had specifically mistreated her and her sister.
The man, now a Christian, extended his hand and asked Corrie for forgiveness. In that moment, every bitter memory flooded back to her. Corrie froze, feeling reluctant and unable to shake his hand. In her heart, she cried out to Jesus. Here is how she described what happened next:
“Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me... I prayed, 'Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.' As I took his hand, the most incredible thing happened. A current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth flooded my heart, bringing tears to my eyes. ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner.
And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.
When [Christ] tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”
Corrie’s story illustrates that forgiveness is both a decision and a miracle.
She made the hard choice to obey Scripture’s command to forgive, but it was God who supplied the surge of love to actually do the forgiving. Left to ourselves, we do not have the strength to forgive heinous wrongs. But as Corrie experienced, God’s grace can enable and make real what our natural, fallen, and frail hearts cannot.
Forgiveness, then, is a partnership: we offer God our powerlessness, and He sweeps in to provide the power. As the Apostle Paul wrote concerning the thorn in his flesh, God’s power is made perfect not in our strength, but in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
It’s important to also acknowledge that forgiveness is usually an extended process, not a one-time event. Depending on the depth of the injury that has been inflicted on us, we may have to forgive the same offense repeatedly as its memory resurfaces. That’s why Jesus told His disciple Peter to forgive “not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22), which was an idiom indicating an unlimited willingness.
Forgiveness might also involve boundaries. Releasing bitterness doesn’t mean subjecting yourself to continued harm. You can forgive someone and still make needed changes to protect yourself or others from future abuse. The primary goal of forgiveness is not to erase wisdom or consequences, but rather to purge the real or potential poison of hate from our own hearts.
We might also wonder, what about justice?
Forgiveness doesn’t negate the pursuit and meting out of justice, either. But at the same time, it does leave ultimate justice in God’s hands. We may pursue justice in a court of law while also relinquishing our claim to personal vengeance, trusting that even if the courts fail us - which is sometimes the case - God will deal rightly with every wrong in His time.
In some cases, our own acts of mercy may even lead our offender to repentance, as it did with the Nazi officer in Corrie ten Boom’s story and countless others. But even if not, we can have peace knowing we have submitted ourselves to God and, in doing so, freed ourselves from being defined and controlled by the injury.
So, is forgiveness possible?
Yes, but only because God makes it possible.
In a world of grievance and cancelation and partisan mudslinging and violence and us-against-them, to forgive is to swim upstream. It may feel like a death to us - letting go of the outrage that has felt like our companion. But beyond that death lies a certain kind of resurrection. The offended finds freedom from the poison of bitterness, the offender has a chance at redemption, and the cycle of injury is interrupted.
Every time we forgive as Christ forgave us, we declare that evil will not have the last word. We bear witness to the radical grace at the heart of the gospel - that no sin is too big to be forgiven because no sinner is beyond the reach of God’s grace and love.
Forgiveness is never easy; and it is often gut-wrenching. Yet it is the path Jesus walked for us, and the path He empowers us to walk for others in His name and for His sake. In extending mercy, we mirror the very nature of God, and in that, there is profound healing - for ourselves and for a broken world sorely in need of it.
How Can I Encourage You?
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Great word Scott!
Keep shining!
Did God forgive his enemies?